Putting moneys in sock monkeys (i.e. a Craigslist story)

My wife recently listed a bedroom set on Craigslist, that beacon of light for all of humanity. Craigslist seems like YouTube comments with the added feature of filtering by geographical location and then sales categories. In other words, the best and the brightest can be found there. My wife was reminded of that as she attempted to sell a bedroom set on Craig’s fine establishment. The correspondence follows.

Tatiana Abel ([email protected]) wrote:

Is it available for sale?. let me know and email more photos.

My wife replied:

Yes it is for sale. It is a beautiful nice set. I hate to get rid of it as my mom, me and my daughter have all used it. But we don’t have room to store it. I did raise the price slightly as I was told I had listed it too low. I can send you further pictures if you tell me what you would like me to take pictures of. It is absolutely beautiful. Thanks.

D.M ([email protected]) wrote:

Thanks for the response. I am willing to pay your asking price. I will pay by Check as its the only way i can pay you at the moment. I will make arrangement for the pickup after payment have been received and cash by you. I don’t mind adding an extra $30 so you can keep it in my favor. I would have loved to come take a look at it but i am presently away for church convention. If you’re comfortable with my method of payment, reply with your full name, phone # and mailing address where payment will be sent please (No P.O Box Addresses ). I will appreciate it if you take the posting off CL today and consider it sold to me. As for the pick-up, it would be handled after you receive your payment.

Expecting to hear from you soon.
Warm Regards

My wife replied:

I took it off of CL. I am comfortable with the form or payment.

D.M ([email protected]) wrote:

Hi,
I urgently have bring something to your notice. I just found out that my Assistant overpaid you.The payment meant for another transaction was made out in your name and sent to you. However I want to believe I wont have a problem with you on this. Once you receive the payment, Please proceed to the bank and cash the Check, after cashing you will deduct your required amount for the item with the extra $30 i promise to offer you for keeping the item in my favor then send back the balance to me. So I can proceed with arrangement for pick-up. Once more, I hope I can fully trust you with this?I will await your response on this so my mind can be at rest.
Thanks

Boom! There we go. Now we’re cooking and I intercede on my wife’s behalf with the following reply:

Hi,

I am husband of seller. I come from far away land. You likely understand. I have much money too. Maybe we can arrange to transfer some moneys into you account for tax security? My assistant get you full instructions. I am excited at possibilities of this good exchange. Or maybe we can put moneys into dresser drawers. You think that would be safe? I do not want my moneys going to the wrong peoples. I am sure you understand my meaning in all of this. I work hard and do not want to see so many moneys lose to taxes of governments officially. I trust you. I think we can deal very much good on this and future dealings. I have many more item to sell and would like to do this directly with you in future. Craig and his list cannot be trust I do not think. My peoples tells me he work for government. I have too many taxes and donot need more. You understand all these happenings. I know you do. We cannot be careful enough in urgent happenings. Moneys maybe put into sock monkeys. We stuff monkeys with moneys where stuffs would go. You think that be good idea? Sock monkeys then go in drawers. We puts lots of sock monkeys in drawers full of many moneys. You sliced the monkeys open where you live and puts moneys in safe account there. We could sells bedroom set again. You donot have to use sock monkeys. You use little ponys. Pull stuffings out of ponys and fill with moneys. I have many good investment to put ponys moneys in. This is good plan. Do you agree? My assistant will send all instructions soon.

Sincerelys.

I didn’t expect a reply but this guy is peristent. I’ll give him credit for that.

Thank you soo much for all the idea, i prefer you send the money via
western union money transfer as i stated

Finally, I do my best to convey this excellent idea I had for smuggling money in sock monkeys.

Dearest Sir,

I donnot prefer western union. The west is no good and I am not such fond of the union too. Are you? Maybe you need to see my ideas in pictures not just typing. I insert picture making clear your cloudy picture in your mind. This monkey I stuffed full of moneys. So many moneys it comes out. I am working on moneys coming out. I tries to stuff monkeys fullest. I want my moneys safe from pirates and governments officially. You know what I mean. You are fine gentleman at church convention where such matters handled with great care. I think sock monkeys not get taken like moneys floating through the air like western union. You cannot trust western people. I not going to even comment on the union. They most horrible. I know you know that I know that you know what I means. Maybe you try stuff sock monkeys with moneys and see if you get moneys stuffed better. Then send me steps to follow so I gets my monkeys full of moneys I needs to sends to you. When moneys are stored in sock monkeys moneys are safe. I think you agree once you study picture. If you not like sock monkeys then you can try little ponys with moneys. Pirates not care about ponys and governments wants horses not ponys. No one looks for moneys in ponys. Childrens might look for moneys in ponys. I not think governments or pirates have childrens in work for them. Do you know the age of governments peoples? Do you know the age of pirates? Pirates hates ponys I thinks because pirates might ride horses not ponys. OK. I think this works.

Kindest regardings.

Moneys in sock monkey

  • James Lorenzen

    Classic. Loved it. Thanks for sharing.

  • alecu

    lol, I surely recognize that style, it’s the one used at the end of the weekly report!